Buckle up.

This city buzzes with 8.2 million people. Thirty-six percent of the current population were born outside of the United States and that creates some fierce diversity. Opportunities are everywhere. This morning I woke up and I was ready to throw that box of tissues in the 'trash'. An email from my best friend also arrived this morning, who was kindly exercising her right to 'tough love'. She lovingly told me to harden the (***k) up.  And so it begins. 

Some of my first 'memories' I made with New York was through the television screen.  Me, Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda and Samantha. And didn't everyone? I can relate to each of those characters in a different way, just as I can fit a part of each of my friends into their personalities. That's why the show was so popular, each woman, in every lounge room around the world could connect with those women as they sat around their table and drank cocktails. While looking through images of New York, I came across this image (below). And how fitting that Miss Carrie Bradshaw spoke these words through the screen at just the right time. 

So how do I plan to buckle up?

Today started with getting the boys ready for school, scrambled eggs on toast in our dinning room.

Meet my dinning room.

Meet my kitchen.

8am arrived and I messaged another nanny (M) (can't reveal any of those names) who lives two doors down, grabbed the school bags and put the boys coats on and we set off for an early morning play date. M and I had a coffee in the kitchen , the dreaded drip coffee, but I added a new found ingredient 'coffee mate' which made my drip coffee not so foul, but added some vanilla latte taste. I asked M what she does in her free time and she told me about Bar Method. 

The Bar Method™ is a 60-minute workout that integrates the fat burning format of interval training, the muscle shaping technique of isometrics, the elongating principles of dance conditioning, and the science of physical therapy to create a revolutionary new workout that quickly and safely reshapes your entire body, with these results:

• Sculpts and elongates all major muscle groups

• Burns fat

• Carves muscle

• Enhances posture

• Creates strong, flat abdominals

• Lifts seat

• Stretches the most chronically tight muscles, namely those around the hips and lower back

So come Monday morning I will be starting Bar Method. 630pm class every night, keeping my body and mind nice and busy.... annnnnd getting my body ready for those summer Bikins!!

Whilst I sat in the kitchen with M, I heard the backdoor open and S walked in (the nanny from next-door). She also does Bar Method and started when she moved here and has since lost 11kgs!! Sheesh this place must be good! Anyway, suddenly I lost the conversation as M and S started speaking in Spanish. Did I mention already that a lot of the nannies speak spanish? This of course doesn't bother me, they speak english 90% of the time but I completely understand how easy it must be to slip back to your native language (it's easier!). But then the greatest idea hit me. Rachel you should learn spanish!! I have 3 friends who live close by, M, S and A who all speak spanish, the perfect opportunity! See how brilliant this place is with its fierce diversity! So I am unsure the best way to 'teach yourself' spanish, I'm assuming books?! and then practising?! I'll keep you updated. 

Take a leap.

I've also taught myself how to play Rihanna's song 'stay' on the piano. Turns out its quite easy with a few repetitive chords but singing is not included! Only piano playing this week (and forever, my singing voice can stay away).

It's Friday morning here which means in a few hours the weekend will be starting!! Making plans and keeping busy is key. Tonight I'm off to the movies to see The Great Gatsby (America gets it first!) with A and M and some others I haven't met yet. Tomorrow I will be driving out to another town to see a friend I met in training and then Saturday afternoon into Manhattan to have dinner and drinks with an Aussie (woooohooooo!!). So slowly but surely I'm figuring it all out.

And counting my blessings.

See you soon weekend. 

105 Days.

January 7, 2013 I landed in Sydney. After three short weeks 'exploring' America I was determined that my stay in Australia would be short-lived. Everything I had went into planning for a move to New York.

I began working 7 days a week to save enough money and any spare time was spent finding documents, filling documents, scanning documents, booking interviews and organising 'this' move. I remember saying to my friend the weekend before I left "wow it's come so quick" and she replied, "it's always been quick babe" and I guess it was. When I spoke to other Au Pairs at training in Manhattan some of them had spent 10 months planning their move. 

105 days later I boarded a plane, destination New York.

I don't believe I stopped long enough to breathe in all I had before I left.... 

105 days is a very long time if you're counting, but I was counting in the other direction, I was counting down to the day I would leave. Full of excitement of the unknown. Full of belief. Full of hope. Because something new was about to begin. 

The other day, as I was walking through Manhattan with another Au Pair we were talking about 'our' move. She turned to me and said the perfect words.... 

"they just don't really tell you how lonely it is". 

Two days ago I got a text from one of the girls I was at Au Pair training with, she was going home. I was completely shattered. A few reasons for this.... 1. I was so excited to have her as a friend and we had made some exciting plans to explore Manhattan together 2. She was someone who understood exactly what this was like and 3. Holy (sh**) if she's gone home.... it really is lonely for us all.

A few years ago I read the book EAT, PRAY, LOVE by Elizabeth Gilbert. I remember reading about a night she was in Italy and she lay on her floor and cried, engulfed in total loneliness. I thought to myself "how the hell is that even possible? to be in a place like Italy and to feel alone?".

Well last night I found myself, totally and utterly engulfed in loneliness (am I seriously writing this to the world of social media?!). Although it wasn't a floor, instead I opted for the bedsheets and pillow, nevertheless I don't think I've cried so intensely in a very long time. My chest was aching and in that moment I could have sworn I was the only person on earth. Now don't get me wrong, New York is unreal.... this place is amazing. Manhattan has a beat of it's own. That place has pulses running through the pavement. BUT human interaction is a treasure, and one I am struggling to acquire. 

As the days pass I'm also starting to wonder if perhaps..... I had a bloody good life back home?! And am I just being spoilt? 

Back home I have a very close group of friends, EVERY weekend we would see each other, most week nights I would be seeing other friends, or family and every single day I would be on the phone or texting. Our lives.... were totally and utterly interlinked. So perhaps what I'm experiencing now is the feeling of breaking up with someone, but I'm breaking up with about 20 people at once haha.

What I have discovered is this... I am lucky. Someone asked me the other day, "is it hard for you?" and the answer is yes (could you tell?) but, I am lucky because I have all these wonderful people back home who are full of love and they are each pushing me forward each day. This helps.

Monday-Friday I work in the suburbs as a nanny. For those living in Sydney, the distance is similar to living in Mosman/Manly area and Manhattan is Sydney CBD. It is nice and close but the suburbs have a beat of their own. My challenge is to find a routine that will keep me busy (in between work) Monday-Friday. I've started making friends with nannies around this area and this is definitely helping. Making friends is hard work, or should I say 'meeting' friends is hard work. I've always been the person that "if you don't like something, change it!" I remember first term year 8 I was sitting next to a girl in my art class. Full of nerves, I turned to her, opened my mouth "could I sit with you and your friends at recess?" (how embarrassing!!!) she said yes. 

Nearly 11 years later I am her sons Godmother, I signed her wedding papers and we are inseparable best friends. Friendship can blossom from the strangest places. 

I'm going to join a gym and possibly a sports team (I can hear some of my friends laughing at this) and after the summer, in September I'm going to start school. SO I'll just be overloaded with friends by then! Right?!? :) 

"New York is not a city, It's a world."

Last week I stumbled across this quote..... "New York is not a city, It's a world" and this weekend the world continued to open itself up to me. Friday evening arrived, work had finished for the week and I was so ready to get on that train.

The voice comes over the microphone "next stop is Penn station". The train doors open and you step out onto the platform. Instantly you know where you are, you're here. Everyone is weaving, twisting, dodging, running, stopping, jogging and pushing to get out and up. As soon as I hit those stairs I'm already smiling before I reach the top. I'm about to get out of the Subway (honestly it's getting hot and stinky and there's always a nice collection of crazies strolling around) but I know as soon as my feet hit that pavement I'm back. I feel like I could break into a Broadway rendition of Empire State of Mind,

I'm gonna make it by any means, I got a pocketful of dreams

Baby, I'm from New York

Concrete jungle where dreams are made of

There's nothing you can't do

Now you're in New York

These street will make you feel brand new

Big lights will inspire you

Hear it for New York, New York, New York!

Nearly there.

Penn Station

7th Avenue.

7th Avenue. Penn Station. Good evening New York.

Basketball on the big screen. Madison Square Garden.

Empire State Building.

This city is breathtaking and I am beginning to see the quote coming to life. As you cross avenues and reach another block, things change. The trees are different (or non-existent is some areas), restaurants emerge, people disperse, taxis zoom past or street lights flicker. Each part playing it's own role in this big production. My feet have begun to adapt to this cities pace. I'm finding myself charging through the crowd (as dusk hits I think this is partly due to the fact that, just like a changing of the guards, some interesting characters are lining the streets). At one point I surprise myself when I actually stomped my foot like a 2 year old when the women in front of me abruptly (and yes it's abrupt, stopping is not expected) stopped to check in her handbag, I think I huffed and stomped before swiftly side stepping around her. 

  

Friday night I met up with two friends to make dinner. I made my Guacamole, and they introduced me to the baby carrots dipped in Buffalo Ranch and a jar of cheese dip (American's and cheese I tell ya!) and then some homemade chicken parmigiana (with A LOT of cheese once again).

My Guacamole for the Americans

Baby carrots and Buffalo Ranch

Chicken parma. More like cheese with some chicken.

Saturday the spring sun was out to play and so were my ghost white legs. I was determined to wear a dress. In the sun it was beautiful but when walking down the avenues, the towering buildings make it hard for the sun to win, so the story went... cardigan on, cardigan off, cardigan on, blazer on, run to make it across the road before the cars and then proceed to rip off both layers of jackets before flames engulf my body. Today my friend Bek from Au Pair training came into Manhattan and wowza the effect of not spending time with friends and being able to chat, laugh, point things out across the street and explore new things with is immense! Something I've been missing a great deal. So today, my inner Rachel was feeling juuuuuust like this picture below :)

Hi Bek!!!!

8th Avenue.

8th Avenue.

We set off to do some exploring. The sun is shinning (like my ghost legs) and we start walking uptown, with no particular destination in mind, but just so happens we stumbled across Times Square (who would have thought! Haha). But in all seriousness it's mind blowing to be able to walk the streets, unsure of which direction to walk today and to then walk into an atmosphere like Times Square and to then be able to walk straight out again because there is something else to see. 

Times Square. 

Times Square. Some little Saturday inspiration.

Our journey took us to Central Park. No pictures and no words can describe the magnificence of this place. Central Park is a city of it's own. Crossing the road in here is a skill of it's own. You have Horse and Carts, bike riders, joggers, runners, roller bladders and the odd emergency vehicle with sirens blaring so after approximately 3 turn backs we made it to the other side (I certainly hope no duckings give it a try). There are so many people in here and oh my goodness every time I turn around I'm looking at something even more beautiful (I felt sorry for Bek as I stopped every 3 steps to take a picture) .

Central Park. May.

Lets find a rock. And eat our Burrito. 

Hi there Horsie.

Central Park. May.

Central Park. May.

Central Park. May.

Baseball too!

Central Park. May.

Central Park. May.

Central Park. May.

Central Park Performers.

Central Park. Hi there pretty boat house.

Central Park. May. 

Central Park. May.

After what seemed days we reached about 1/4 of the the park, this place is seriously big (next time I need a bike). So for today we decided to step out and wander back downtown and what better place to step out onto than 5th avenue (seriously is this real?!?)

5th Avenue. Museum Mile.

5th Avenue.

5th Avenue. Street performers.

As we walked down this beautiful street, with beautiful apartments hovering above us and doormen standing...waiting for someone to greet when they arrived home, Bek and I discussed how we can make this our future (how do we get these doormen and an apartment like this..... the solution is still in the mixing pot but I'll be sure to pass on the answer when we find it).

At the moment it has been a time for doing things alone. Something 'new' I'm discovering. Choice or  only option, that's debatable but either way it's happening. After Bek left on her train home it was just me myself and I. As my precious sun started playing hide and seek and the moon was making her way into the sky I felt it was time to find somewhere indoors. Fast walking through the streets now became a bit of a game with the wind, who had decided it'd be a great idea to keep lifting my dress up. And in busy streets with people on every angle this was not a game I wanted to play. Into the Cinemas I darted. A little voice in my head questioned "you're going to see a movie alone?!" and I have to admit I have never done this before but then the other voice loud and clear over the top "who cares, it's not like you talk to each other in movies anyway". So I bought the ticket. And I discovered it's much easier to cry to the sad bits when you're not trying to hide the tears from the person next to you!!! :) 

Buttered Popcorn.

Ice cream fail. Alone AND with a broken ice cream.

Sunday morning arrived and I realised how much I missed brunch. Brunch was something the girls and I would do nearly every weekend. So it was time to discover West Village. A new part of the world. I hopped off the Subway and just put one foot in front of the other, no destination in mind. All I knew is I wanted a coffee and some eggs. After reading a few menus and scouting the restaurants I found one just right.

Sunday morning brunch.

Avocado, spinach and goats cheese omelette. 

After brunch, bag over shoulder and off I set. West Village, you're unreal. I could stay here for days. The trees line the streets and beautiful little boutiques and restaurants spill out onto every pavement. I'm convinced I'm going to see someone famous.... surely! But it's a hard game to play, photographer and celebrity spotter, so today I was photographer.  

West Village.

West Village.

West Village.

Bleeker Street. West Village.

Here on a corner I found (re-found, I did visit here in December) the Magnolias Bakery. This is somewhere I was actually looking for but when I walked in the door I actually wasn't hungry anymore. But I knew I had to get something. Vanilla cupcake it was.

The Magnolia Bakery off  Sex and the City.

The Magnolia Bakery.

Just me and the cupcake.

In the park. Right across from Jimmy Choo.

One weekend, one city and already three worlds, Midtown (Times Square), Central Park and West Village. This city is never-ending. There have been so many moments I have wished I could share with my best friends and family back home. So many times I've seen something funny, strange, beautiful or scary and I've wished dearly I could just turn to my right and say something out loud to my person next to me. But I know that right now I can't. And for now it's just me. Until there's someone else. So for now I will just keep discovering. 

Just me.

Leaping.