"Since everything is in our heads, we had better not lose them".
-Coco Chanel
Have you ever walked down the street and suddenly your feet slip out from under you? If you were on stage you might resemble a male ballerina? Kind of looks good but in the audience they stare wondering how the hell he is making those splits look so graceful?!
Then just in time you whip out some ninja moves and manage to save yourself before landing flat on your backside (because lets face it, you're no ballerina). Well thats how the past few weeks have felt. Slipping around a little, but catching myself just in time (because we all know, I am actually a ninja- Duh!).
I like to be open in my blog writing, but not to the point that if I met a stranger they could "Dear diary" me. I avoid writing for the most part about men (dates/boyfriends/ex-boyfriends) and any other personal issues (on the negative) because who wants to read a sad and depressing story (NOT ME!). It's like watching a scary movie and the girl hears a noise and goes downstairs- you know bad things are about to happen and that's when I usually look away, yell at the television screen hoping she will hear me or switch off. Either way, it's not fun for anyone. When I am deeply immersed in something or challenged with something I usually just don't blog. The last few weeks I've had a few snow balls thrown at me, metaphorically speaking (but may as well be literally too). A time when something happens and you stop and look around and think "wait, hang on a minute- that wasn't in the plan" and the ground gets taken out from under you and replaced with a mountain- REALLY world?! Ugh! Challenge accepted.
The thing you learn quickly when living in another country is that you cannot jump in the car, drive to Grandmas, leave your car doors unlocked (because this suburb/neighbourhood is safe), walk inside, smile and she already knows how you're feeling, curl up in the lounge chair, sip tea and eat your favourite food that she knows how to make just right. Probably because I'm not 18 (or 10) anymore but guess what Rachel, you just need to bend down and pull those socks back up again. Suck it up princess. Winter is winter in New York, cold, wet, snow, ice and cold, oh and did I mention cold already? I thought I was brave and had survived winter- it's almost over yay! Wrong. Not even half way. Bugger. Winter is tough on most in New York, there have been more people on the streets begging for money and more people on the subways begging for money and food. It is, a record breaking winter for New York City. I had been stuck as sad sack Sally and after suffering some severe cabin fever (where is the sun!) I was feeling restless and annoyed. After many weeks of being unemployed, my bank account was looking sad and a few other things were being triangles when I wanted them square.
"We are all looking for the right reasons to want to get out of bed each and every bitter cold morning"- Tyler Knott Gregson
Saturday night I made a teary phone call to my childhood best friend back in Australia. Sometimes you just need a hand on your back to push you to keep going. She gave me a rocket launch. Thanks K. New York City is a population of 8.3 million- that's a lot of noise. It can at times be a little daunting and can trick you into being quiet, trick you into keeping your thoughts to yourself because it's too hard to speak over the top of everyone. It can trick you into backing away when no one is looking. But really what it's saying is "come on, I dare you, come closer!!"- isn't that what life is saying to everyone? Yup.
The clouds parted and out came the sun (again, metaphorically- damn!).
I now have a job- yay! A job I'm loving, a job allowing me to meet new people, learn new things and finally make some of that stuff they call money. I spent the weekend with some friends and looked around realising- once more- that I am gosh darn lucky. I woke up this morning with a message from a friend telling me about an apartment becoming available in Manhattan- that seems perfect to me- looking at it tomorrow. I'm finally starting to enjoy filtered coffee too (I can see my Aussie friends screwing up their faces) and I am starting to like the fact that things turned into a triangle instead of a square. My socks just pulled themselves up I think.
Things I am learning (still):
- People don't change, not for you, not for anyone.
- White bedsheets remind me of home, don't stain them because it'll make you irrationally tear up (and you can't afford new ones right now).
- You have a caffeine addiction- head aches appear way too quick if I haven't had my morning coffee.
- The "Talented Mr Ripley" film still confuses me at 24 (is he Dickie or Tom?!).
- I need to stop crossing my legs, I'm getting spider veins already.
- I still know the lyrics to any Spice Girls song but forget my passowords- why?
- Wrinkles are becoming an actual fear and I do talk about it openly (am I getting old?).
- Pandora music is the bomb but the ads suck.
- When it is -15 degrees celsius, invest in proper gloves.
- I need to learn to open wine bottles without cutting my fingers on the tin wrapper.
- You can walk faster when you're not holding someones hand. But if you trip there isn't anyone to stop you. Still confused about that one.
- Unsure about why adults would tell me "eat your crusts it'll give you curls". #1 why did I want curls and #2 Mum I could have done without the extra carbs.
- Certain scents will stay with you forever. Grandmas perfume is always Grandmas perfume and even if I don't know the lady that just walked past me in West Village, I still think of Grandma.
- Friday and Saturday are no longer 'Friday and Saturday' because it's perfectly acceptable to go out any night of the week in NYC and there will be so many people out drinking you'll think you're at a full moon party.
- I actually like taking the subway.
- Three people have told me this week I sound South African or... from California. Nope- Australia.
- 87% of my wardrobe is black and I genuinely find it difficult to find something to add colour.
- Shellac ruined my nails.
- I can make a great cocktail.
- There is no rush to get engaged (even though my entire Facebook feed is filled with engagement announcements!).
- The most courageous act is still to think for yourself, aloud. That is always. Always. No exceptions.
"Keep your heels, head and standards high" - Coco Chanel
R xx
