"Every time you are tempted to react in the same old way, ask if you want to be a prisoner of the past or a pioneer of the future".
Deepak Chopra
What is the secret to life? What should I do next? How do I know if this is the right thing to do? What if it's the wrong choice? What if she hates me for it? What if he gets mad at me ? What if I regret it?!....
These are all things many of us have said, well I know I've certainly said them. I have a tendency to think things through and then think them through again. I certainly wouldn't turn life away if it came and gave me a book of answers! But the more I just get up and move the easier it is to do just that- MOVE and make choices and move again.
I am in love with my life but I am not afraid to admit when I'm not. If I am doing something I don't like, something I don't feel I'm growing from, something that isn't food for my soul, I'll change it. I don't think that's selfish, I think that's smart. Time waits for no one, so you better not wait. Five years ago I couldn't have dreamed up the reality I live today. Do I have down moments? Of course. We are human- I am human. But am I grateful? you bet. Am I blessed? without a doubt.
The secret of life, though, is to fall seven times and to get up eight times. Paulo Coelho
Most recently I finally moved into a Manhattan apartment. My very own little piece of real estate to call my own.
I did a day trip to IKEA and filled my trolley with bits and pieces that would create the room I wanted. I am in love with it. All mine.
Mine, mine, mine.
I also died my hair- again.
Growing up I've lived by the mantra "if it's meant to be it'll be" but recently I have been led to feel otherwise. Last week at work, two customers sat in front of me at the bar- Dianne and Chris lets call them. Both in their mid 40s and wanting to try some new and "tasty" shots. A shot?! Hmmm ok, are these two on their first date? I wondered. After a few shots it didn't take them long to tell me 'their' story. They first met aged 22, dated for 7 years and then a career change by Dianne landed Chris with an ultimatum- move with me or we break up? Well... it seems Chris doesn't like ultimatums and... they broke up. 20 years later here they were sitting in front of me at the bar, getting drunk and outrageously flirting with each other. They are now married to other people, Chris has 2 children and Dianne heavily invested in her career.
I stood watching them, the chemistry unwavering. I had to ask- I had too. "So now what? You're friends? Do your partners know you're here together?"- they said of course! They weren't cheating and never would, their partners knew but their friends didn't. "Why?" I was intrigued. They explained their friends would be annoyed because their friends think they should have married each other, then Chris tells me, alcohol eyes glistening that he has never loved anyone the way he has loved Dianne but life changed and their paths separated. Ok! Thats it, now I really have to ask "everyone has always told me that it'll work out in the end if it's meant too- looking back, do you agree?". They both huffed at my apparent stupidity and naivety. Chris slammed his hand on the bar, clearly ready to answer first "absolutely not, you MUST be conscious in your choices, you MUST chase what it is you want and you must move towards it unwaveringly, don't leave anything to chance", Dianne smiled "it's true, sometimes it doesn't work out the way you planned or the way you hoped, don't get to 40 Rachel and leave an opening to feel that way".
You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life. Steve Jobs
Moving to New York was a big move. I pinch myself sometimes. I really am here. As I sit writing this blog, thinking of Dianne and Chris, I don't think I have to worry. I am making my own opportunities and loving every minute of this path I am on. Time is zooming by, my little godson just turned 3, it seems like yesterday he was born. So much has happened and lately it feels I don't have time to blink in fear of missing something. Often our path takes a sharp right and heads somewhere we didn't expect but it's those times we get taken down the secret path and get to see the most beautiful flowers of all, the flowers we once expected to be weeds.
Sometimes people let the same problem make them miserable for years when they could just say, So what. That’s one of my favorite things to say. So what. Andy Warhol
Take on each day as it comes and if it doesn't work out quite right- so what.
R
xxx
