"A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life".

Hey.

Who are you?

I'm Rachel. I have brown eyes that sometimes look green. I like feeling my toes crunch over the sand. I like broccoli and I hate anchovies. 

Oh... and I dyed my hair.

In the words of Coco Chanel "A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life".

Is hair not the most wonderful thing? Changing your hair is the quickest way to feel like you've shredded your old skin and into a new. A new hair do will instantly put a spring in anyones step and I mean anyone, man or women. 

I went to the grocery store and I bought a box blonde kit (yes box, $10.99). I sat in front of the mirror and contemplated what I was about to do. What if I hate it? What if my hair falls out? What if I look like Pippi long stockings? Oh well. And I began painting bleach onto my hair.

Lucky for me, I love it.

Mission 'spring in that step', complete.

With the new hair has come some new experiences, new friends. Making new friends as an adult is... weird? It's like trying your bosses homemade stew, you know as soon as that food hits your tastebuds you will either be scooping back for seconds or holding back the violent urge to vomit. But whether you hate it or love it, you have to politely smile and reply "oh yum, that's really delicious". This is how it is making friends, within a few sentences you've got an idea as to whether you'll be life long friends rocking in your chairs sipping tea in your eighties or the person you're dodging cars to cross the street and avoid the awkward "oh hiii, how are yooou?" (we all have that person, don't pretend). 

I have now been in America for 3 months. I've been so lucky in that I have already made some really wonderful friendships. I have also met some people that I think "uhhh really? How can you think that way?" and I obviously don't chose to spend my time with these people. But the question has now been floating in my head, what makes it work? What makes some friendships blossom and others sink? What makes some lucky enough to have a florist of friends and others only a vase full? And I think perhaps the answer is... YOU. 

In life you are ultimately the one who decides who you are and how you will be that way. Your choices lead you on a particular path which will take you in direction of A, B, C or D. I think that when you end up on these paths you then meet others who are travelling in the same direction, you'll pass each other and more often than not you'll end up latching on and together you'll continue along the path.

And this is precisely what has happened to me. 

I met some people on my path and we decided to latch on.

Several weeks ago I ran through the rain with black laced boots, a long black skirt and a black hooded jacket. I was hit in the head with an umbrella, side swiped with someones cigarette and beyond frustrated with New Yorks weather as it had decided to rain in 30 degree heat which caused my hair and face to get totally confused. Eventually I made it to the restaurant, pushed open the door and was swiftly seated. Tonight I had a 'date' with a 'new friend'. 

I was having dinner with a girl from the Gold Coast (an Aussie! Whoop!). She had just moved to New York and would be living and working here for the next 12 months and we had connected over a Facebook group "Australians in New York". Both being young women in NY trying to navigate our way around this place we thought we would catch up to exchange notes. While I was waiting for her I ordered a Soho cocktail.

I had no idea how this was going to go. Would we have anything to talk about? What if she's mean? What if she doesn't talk? Hmmm.

Well in walked N. Big smile on her face and sits down. The waiter asks her what she'd like to drink, she studies the menu for a minute and then says "I'll have a Soho cocktail thanks", that's exactly what I got!! Yep, I think we're going to be great friends!! 

Well, 3 cocktails and 3 hours later... a new friendship was made. We sat in this restaurant and talked and talked and talked. When we realised it was almost closing time we decided to ask the waiter of any bars close by he knew of? Of course a quiet dinner then turns into cocktails upon cocktails and another bar.

We walked a few blocks up and came across Bartini. This was a male gay bar, howeverrrr this was perfect because we knew we wouldn't have any issues from men and we could be 'left alone' to just dance by ourselves and have fun. Well turns out some single guys have clued onto the fact that girls occasionally do this. One guy decided to come and talk to us while we danced next to a speaker and clearly couldn't hear anything. When he decided to turn his back on me and dance with N we both knew this would just not do. I tapped him on the shoulder "excuse me, she has a boyfriend!" (which was a lie but a white lie). That got rid of him.

We danced and discovered $2 vodka jelly shots. 

We didn't have them all.

In the early hours of the night, after dancing and laughing and numerous jelly shots we parted ways. 

The next morning I remember saying to a friend "we are like the same person! Seriously, the same person!". But then I thought, "now what? oh wait wait wait... what if she didn't like me?" huh. 

All of sudden I was in unfamiliar waters, it almost felt like dating, but obviously not. Then I got a text and it was N. Phew! Neither of us had plans for Saturday night but our heads were still sore from the night before so I suggested a movie, Despicable me 2? I'm waiting for a reply thinking, maybe she hates Despicable me? My phone beeps and to my surprise she loves the idea! 

Seeeee we are like the SAME! Haha.

Friends.

A week passed and the weekend rolled around again. N and I had decided to get a cocktail Saturday night and catch up on the week. Well 1 cocktail at 'Rare View Rooftop Bar'  turned into 2, which then turned into another venue (230 on fifth), followed by several other cocktails. 

Rare View Bar Rooftop. July, 2013.

Rare View Bar Rooftop. July, 2013.

Rare View Bar Rooftop. July, 2013.

230 on fifth.

As we sat sipping our cocktails we looked around at the huge sky scrapers surrounding us. Wow. What a place. Our Australian accents occasionally catch the attention of others (Australians really are loved in America). As we are ordering a drink I tell her "Oh I have some funny stories to tell you!" and she replied "I have some funny stories for you too!!". After a few cocktails we move onto talking about 'meeting' each other. Perhaps alcohol induced but we both agree how normal it feels to hang out and also agree that this new friend thing is hard work! But lucky for us, it's just worked. 

230 on fifth.

230 on fifth.

230 on fifth.

230 on fifth.

So what makes a new friendship work?

I have made some life long friends here in America. I already know this.

 I know that with T & B (my Charlie's Angels) and A, M and N I will undoubtedly be friends with these people for a very long time. I will have to buy a house with a very big front porch to fit all these rocking chairs.

Friends make your hair bounce, your smile brighter, your tummy flatter, your coffee stronger, your heels higher and your eyes twinkle. 

I have friends like sisters and brothers in Australia and I've written about them on here before. They are my everything. But the lesson to learn is, your heart doesn't have a size restriction. Your heart can just grow and grow and grow. And this is the difference between people with a vase full of friends and people with a florist full of friends. You can keep finding these amazing and wonderful people who pass you on your path and you can have them in your life.

Each friend is different, just like flowers. Some flowers grow in Australia, some grow in America, England, Scotland, South America, Brazil and Mexico. And they are all wonderful and when you pass them on your path, stop and take the time because you'll be amazed.

Because friends are what make the ride worth taking.

xx

"i carry your heart with me(i carry it in

my heart)i am never without it(anywhere

i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done

by only me is your doing,my darling.

                                                    

Here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart"

E.E Cummings.  

Lend me your eyes.

"And now my heart stumbles on things I don't know
My weakness I feel I must finally show

Lend me your hand and we'll conquer them all
But lend me your heart and I'll just let you fall
Lend me your eyes I can change what you see
But your soul you must keep, totally free

In these bodies we will live, 
in these bodies we will die
Where you invest your love, 
you invest your life".

Awake my soul, Mumford & Sons. 

I have been searching for the why. Why did I decide to move away for a year? What compelled me to run straight from the warm sand into the brisk concrete jungle?

After many conversations with various people I have realised what I never had before. I have realised the 'difference' between 'travelling' for a year and 'moving' away for a year. When you're travelling you're usually moving destinations every few weeks, excitement is high and when your emotions dip low, a sight of something bright and new usually picks you back up again. If you arrive somewhere you don't particularly fancy, you know it's not permanent and off you go again, clothes packed up, shoes on and back off into the wild you go. 

A big part of me expected this sort of adventure when I set off on the plane. I wasn't expecting the unexpected... I was expecting what I expected! I had thought I would be 'travelling' for a year, I mean that was how I thought it would feel. I had the picture in my head of what it was going to look like, feel like and be like.

But here's the thing... it's never like you expect. It's not better, it's not worse... it's just different. It's going to be different. Moving to New York to live for a year is different to travelling. You wake up and you go to work, you have good days and you have bad days. You meet new friends and some will be forever and others won't. You explore new places that are beautiful and exciting and others that are scary and unsafe.  Your body is still your body in another country and your surroundings remain the same. Before I set off on my journey a friend asked "can I ask why you want to do this?", I was a little jolted at first, what do you mean why? Just because! But my answer resembled something like "to just have a break from here, to find myself, to challenge myself, to figure it out" the usual optimistic, empowering response one would expect of a young twenty-something year old. He then proceeded to gently 'warn' me that just because I was in another country, any problems I might be trying to run from will still be there. Ha! Problems? Me? Never. 

Well. Well. Well. 

I feel like I am butt naked standing on top of a New York taxi (where I could possibly be missed but most likely seen naked and vulnerable by everyone and then broadcast on Youtube).  I have discovered that the shit you keep on your boots is still there even after you get on a plane and fly 22 hours away. 

I have discovered that the world is a big place. I feel like I have stumbled across a new earth, but this is just one state within a country, within a world. A very big world. People everywhere are different, I don't mean this in the superficial physical way (obviously). I mean... as I have stood in the streets of New York and watched while hundreds of people whoosh past, twirling, weaving, dodging and stopping... I am intrigued by each of them. What are their stories? Why did that person stop and give a dollar to the pregnant homeless woman begging for money with her three year old next to her (and yes I saw this) and the other 30 people walked straight past? Places are different, the birds sound different, the ocean feels more salty, the sand isn't the same colour and the trees are not gum and no body knows what eucalypts oil is. I have learned.. that no matter how much difference surrounds you, how many lights blind you and no matter how much noise you make... at the end of the day it's just me myself and I (even in New York).

Homesickness is a funny thing, you know if you Google homesickness so many links will appear, who knew! A lot of my blog posts have been 'upbeat' and full of 'new found independence' and 'so much adventure'. And then out of the blue I got hit in the face with a pang of homesickness... AGAIN! I wondered... was I being truthful? Was I really enjoying myself as much as I said? And the answer is yes. Absolutely yes. Every picture posted and every blog written is truthful. The moments exist, the fun is real, the smiles are alive and the writing spills out just the way I feel it at the time. Do I usually write when I'm feeling a little down though? Of course not. But do I feel down occasionally? Of course I do. So what do I do? Usually I ring my best friends or my family who know me well enough to knock me back into shape again and I swiftly pull up my big girl socks and get on with it. Why? Because this is magnificent.

I mean really, it is magnificent. The fact that I have been lucky enough to have the opportunity to explore a culture and a country that isn't my own (some people will never have the chance) is amazing. I have the opportunity to take 12 months to sit with myself and figure out who the hell I really am. And sometimes that's boring and I get bored, which leads to frustration, which leads to annoyance, sadness and then I end up at homesickness and doubt. But then I realise... I am exactly where I need to be and how will I ever grow if it's not uncomfortable. And it is uncomfortable sometimes.

I imagine it feels like the time when your Mum bought you a pair of shoes that were one size too big. At the time it was bloody irritating and you felt like everyone was laughing at you as you walked around in shoes resembeling a clowns. But she knew and everyone else knew, that soon enough you were going to grow into them, it may take a little time but eventually they will fit just perfectly. You'll be able to run and jump and climb and you won't even remember what it felt like when you wanted to kick them off and dig your old broken shoes out of the rubbish and put them back on because they would still fit. But you knew it was time to get some new shoes because you're growing up and soon, they will fit just right. You just got to give it some time. 

And time is something I have.

 xxx

And 'home' will always be there.

Happy 4th of July America.

Happy Birthday America

Times Square.

When I thought of Independence day I would think of the movie, when earth was invaded by aliens...

but apparently there is another Independence day not involving aliens...

This day is commonly known as the Fourth of July, and it is a federal holiday in the United States commemorating the adoption of the Declaration of Independence on July 4, 1776, declaring independence from the Kingdom of Great Britain. It's similar to Australia Day, families and friends spend it together, usually at home having a BBQ or going for lunch and then only the crazy tourists actually venture into the city and want to watch the fireworks.

And I was one of those crazy tourists who thought it would be a great idea to spend the day in Manhattan "while I'm still young" were my exact words. I don't even know what that means, I think I have this internal fear that I'm getting more and more boring as each month passes!

I was ready. Red, white and blue. I had my outfit planned along with my patriotic flag bandana.

Off I set into Manhattan and the weather was holding up. The sun was shinning and the heat was fierce at roughly 30 degrees Celsius (87F). I met my friend M and we decided to 'stroll' through Times square and see if anything was happening. As we were walking a woman stopped me "your hair is beautiful, who does it?". I was a little confused as my hair hasn't been coloured in 3 months and today I had it thrown up in a bun so what was this woman talking about? But I was also kinda chuffed and responded "oh it hasn't been done in a while but thanks!" and I went to keep walking but then out of no where BAM! she pulls out a brochure "I work for a salon on the east side and we are offering a special deal today!", gosh darn I had been tricked! Well played lady, well played. And yes, we kept walking.

From Times square we walked to Bryant park which is on 6th ave right next to the New York public library. The city was very quiet today so it was nice and easy to get a seat. We sat, drinking water, having an ice cream and chatting for a few hours.

Bryant park with M and A.

As I said, the day was hot, really hot but there is nothing to make you realise that you're not on the northern beaches anymore than seeing children swim in a public fountain in the middle of the city. Is that even legal? Is that safe? clean? Well you definitely know you're in Manhattan when you see this happen. 

From Bryant park we decided to go to central park. Normally it is in walkable distance 15/20 blocks roughly but in this heat we got the subway. And right at the entrance gates to the park were snow cones!! We walked around and it's of course full of people for Fourth of July and performers everywhere (one of my favourite things of the park).

Central Park

Central Park

Central Park

Turtles in the water.

From the park we walk through the east side and I stumbled across these steps. Instantly thought of Carrie Bradshaw from the Sex and the City show. And of course I had to get a picture.

Carrie from the show, Sex and the City.

Me on the steps.

Wednesday night I got a surprise email from a friend of mine who I went to University with for 4 years in Australia. She emails me and tells me she has just arrived in Manhattan and would be here until July 9! I was so stoked and of course met up with her the very next day (July 4). We decided we would meet at a bar called Lucy' which is a mexican bar/restaurant in midtown, which has a rooftop sitting area and has the best happy hour with $6 margaritas. 

Beerarita. Corona and margarita mixed together.

A and I with her beerarita. 

Mega-nachos (everything is mega in America).

Chillidog.

Considering I have been here for nearly 3 months, I thought my accent hadn't really changed. Although there have been moments that I've been concerned some of my words are starting to 'twang' but that's usually after spending time with Americans (which I guess is pretty often). Anyway, I run up to my Australian friend Suz and I didn't even get a sentence out before she says "ohhhh my gosh you're American!", I instantly slapped by hand over my mouth, "no I'm not! don't say that!... oh my gosh listen to me!". I hadn't realised but now sitting with her and talking to her friends (all strong Australian accents) I'm realising I am sounding considerably different. Then my friend A says "Rachel you don't sound like them at all". We definitely had a laugh about it but after an hour or so talking with them, everyone reassured me I was 'back' to 'speaking' Australian again. Phew! 

Suz, me and A.

After perhaps a few too many frozen margaritas and realising it was now 8:30pm (fireworks are at 9) we left and headed to greet the crowds and commence the push and shove to find a good viewing spot.

By this time the city was really humid and the deeper we got into the crowds, the hotter it got.

Hot and sweaty.

I had never seen so many people all tightly squished into the same space in city streets. There were literally thousands of people in 30 degree heat (87F), at 9pm at night all trying to catch a glimpse of the July 4th fireworks (I'm thinking these better be good!). At this point my feet are really starting to blister from walking all day and I feel like someone has thrown a bucket of hot water over me. 

My friend M and I were persistent. We kept pushing (politely) through the crowds, hoping to get just a little further. And all of a sudden a huge opening appeared, it was like people just couldn't be bothered walking any further, luckily we were bothered. All the way to the end we walked and although we were still a bit far back, we would be sure to have a good view. 

The water ahead. So close

People all the way back.

Crammed in between thousands of people.... 9 o'clock came and went with no fireworks, it appeared the organisers hadn't factored in day light savings and at 9:30pm the sky was still light. So we stood, waiting, waiting, waiting. I remember thinking, what makes thousands of people stand shoulder to shoulder with strangers in 30 degree heat, dripping in sweat that probably isn't their own, just to see fireworks? Why was I there? I guess because it was an 'opportunity'? Because I'm a tourist? BEcause it's fun? Because that's what you do?

But finally, at roughly 9:45pm the fireworks began

The fireworks lasted 30 minutes. They were really beautiful and I'm glad I saw them... but 30 minutes is a long time and I realised I don't like fireworks THAT much. But I'm definitely glad I braved the crowds of New York for my first July 4th in Manhattan and although I had blistered feet and a lot of pushing to get back out... we made it.

Happy birthday America. Thanks for sharing xx